we will all pretend it is temporary.
we will all pretend that we will come back together.
we will all hold our heads high and say our family is not falling apart.
we will all act this way, until the rest of the truth comes out.
So for the first time i can openly and publicly on this blog say that i am gay, and now the the band knows, we are looking for my replacement. I am going to teach this new girl how to sing, write, talk and walk the way i do, only a little different. This new girl will fill all the gaps i will leave in your photos. She will be at all of the shows. She will try to win over the fans. She won't stand up for herself or fight because she will want it so badly. She will be a Christian. She will always be on time. She might even have a little blue hair, i mean it is the trademark.
She however, will not have my heart. She will not have my love. She will not have my passion and my commitment. She won't have the most ridiculous things happen to her on the way to every practice and cause her to be an hour late. She won't connect with the fans the way i did. She won't sing the lyrics that i wrote, the way they were meant to be sung. She won't be singing for us, she will be singing for her. She won't want to build what we have, she will just want what we have to be hers. She won't have my sense of humor. She won't know our inside jokes. She won't know how much t-shirts are and when it's ok to to cut someone a deal. She won't know your girlfriends. She won't know who has been coming to our shows since the beginning. She won't be able to tell when one of you two are going to mess up on a harmony becuase of the way you sang the line before. She won't know when andrew is about to go off beat and stay in time with him. She won't flail her arms around and make ridiculous hand motions the entire show. She won't have your stories, your history, your families. She won't have my smile or my laugh. She won't have my brain or my skin or my red toes or my little thumbs. She won't cause conflict when soemthings wrong, because she will think it's right. She won't always tell the truth, because she won't know what is ok to say and what isn't. She actually, won't be anything like me.
And no, she won't be gay either... and that's what matters most to you, isn't it?
we will all pretend that we will come back together.
we will all hold our heads high and say our family is not falling apart.
we will all act this way, until the rest of the truth comes out.
So for the first time i can openly and publicly on this blog say that i am gay, and now the the band knows, we are looking for my replacement. I am going to teach this new girl how to sing, write, talk and walk the way i do, only a little different. This new girl will fill all the gaps i will leave in your photos. She will be at all of the shows. She will try to win over the fans. She won't stand up for herself or fight because she will want it so badly. She will be a Christian. She will always be on time. She might even have a little blue hair, i mean it is the trademark.
She however, will not have my heart. She will not have my love. She will not have my passion and my commitment. She won't have the most ridiculous things happen to her on the way to every practice and cause her to be an hour late. She won't connect with the fans the way i did. She won't sing the lyrics that i wrote, the way they were meant to be sung. She won't be singing for us, she will be singing for her. She won't want to build what we have, she will just want what we have to be hers. She won't have my sense of humor. She won't know our inside jokes. She won't know how much t-shirts are and when it's ok to to cut someone a deal. She won't know your girlfriends. She won't know who has been coming to our shows since the beginning. She won't be able to tell when one of you two are going to mess up on a harmony becuase of the way you sang the line before. She won't know when andrew is about to go off beat and stay in time with him. She won't flail her arms around and make ridiculous hand motions the entire show. She won't have your stories, your history, your families. She won't have my smile or my laugh. She won't have my brain or my skin or my red toes or my little thumbs. She won't cause conflict when soemthings wrong, because she will think it's right. She won't always tell the truth, because she won't know what is ok to say and what isn't. She actually, won't be anything like me.
And no, she won't be gay either... and that's what matters most to you, isn't it?
if i am so ok with this, if i know it's the right thing to do, why am i crying? Why do i feel like i just gave up one of the only two solid things in my life? When did doing the right thing, and standing up for what you believe in start to hurt so bad.
why does it have to be like this?
why does it have to be like this?
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