I swear I've been awake for 13 days. I swear I haven't missed a beat this earth has presented, but I can't keep any kind of pace these days. The word try has such a negative connotation to me. Try, try, just try. I am trying. Trying is not so good. Trying is not succeeding. Often trying results in failure. There is only one thing in my life that has ever come natural to me, and every time i feel like it is slipping away, i feel like my hands are slipping off the bars that hold me to life. There is so little keeping me alive, but the little things are so big and mean so much. If it weren't for you, I would be gone. I think about it more than you would think.
I am collapsing.
My elbows are so weak, and i know they are going to give soon.
I've never had that much muscle anyway, how the hell have I been holding myself up?
Her one year anniversary is approaching too.
"..all she wants is just a memory to hold
her and she says remember me"
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