dont worry.

ive got a box of memories big enough for the both of us.

i dont even know where to start

because i cant do this. say anything.i found my old phone today. i compared to very similar photos from a year ago and i look so sad. a week ago. i look so different now. tired. wornit wont make sense. out. lost. sad. i realized it is almost a year to you cheating on me.this time last year, i was so confident we were about to overcome everything. this time last year, maybe i was naive and stupid. i was foregoing art for love. i was wrapped in the arms of someone i was already losingm but have yet to stop loving. i was dating someone i thought i was going to marry, someone i was so secure with, through rocking and shaking foundation. i worried so much, but was so carefree. i was young and naive. but i was happy. we took each other for granted. we had these problems. but tonight is the first night that the three words in my head are no longer ni love hern. rather, the words emmulating simply state we didnt work. my phone wont even let this post come across coherently. i just need to get this out. we didnt work. we didnt work. we didnt work.

you wont find me here anymore.

i still wonder

if you still get sad like i do.
if you're also at the point, where you can't cry anymore, so your eyes just get blurry and your throat stays in a lump.

i wish that being away from me made you miss me more, but i think its just making you happier.

you're so distant, we never talk. when we do, you're dismissive.

you want nothing to do with me right now, maybe ever. I am fairly certain you are happy in the arms of someone else.

all of your things in a box, or three, all of your clothes in my bottom drawer, all of your photos and videos in a password protected file on my computer. All of your voice mails, well, I haven't really had the heart to delete those yet.

I'm not sure that I'm trying to move on, so much as make daily living more bearable.

and the minute those wings

begin to flutter for someone else,



mine begin to break.
i'm so stupid, to ever get my hopes up.

the little things that i have kept tucked away so safely to remember, sentenced to a box to be placed somewhere secret, so i may forget.

i don't have anyone to talk to anymore.

i don't have anywhere to be sad, except here. The flood is coming.