I'm an idiot.

But, not dumb enough to try to be like someone else.


I am sick of sending comments like these:

"Hayley Williams is not one of my major inspirations, vocally, or live.

For live and stage presence influences, most of them are lead singers/screamers from hardcore bands.
For example, Cole from Gwen Stacy. I see hardcore bands live most of the time, obviously that would play a big influence, don't you think? Or perhaps the fact that i listen and see bands that are male fronted most of the time?

Take a way a front man leads, and then add a little bit of of a feminine touch to it, it looks the same.
People only compare me to hayley williams because they aren't informed enough to know that she doesn't "own" moving on stage, in any way shape or form and that using a generic stage presence, used by males and females alike, doesn't make her the creator, or started of those moves.

I expected a little more from you. You've always striked me as a person to know better and not jump to conclusions like that.


So long comment short, sorry to burst your bubble, but hayley williams is definitely NOT one of my influences, and you are quite mistaken.

I know in the long run it was a nice comment you left, but it was totally back handed.
I am just so sick of being placed in her shadow when I am pulling separate influences that do not include her.
If i were to change any of my styles, then that wouldn't be me at all.

I assure you, I am not imitating or taking that influence from her. I am simply doing what i feel.

I don't mean any of this in a mean or irate way, just informative. It's such a struggle to get past this comparison, but please don't say you "definitely" know something about me, when you have no idea.

-kelc"

I suppose we all have shadows to break out of.
The further down the line, the more shadows you are in.
Apparantly, they went like this:

Gwen Stefani (No Doubt)
Avril Lavigne
Hayley Williams (Paramore)
Sierra Kusterback (VersaEmerge)
Cassadee Pope (Hey Monday)
|
|
|
|
|
v
I am down here somewhere.



hopefully working my way up.

sprache

We don't really talk much anymore.

But last night was good. Last night, we talked about something real, something deep.
Last night we sparked and connected again, like we did the first time. I never realized the wires in our circuit were showing.

To be one by being oneself.

One cannot be like one who is only like themselves. The carbon copy infiltrates the necessity of the cloned individual, stripping away all likenes.

Philosophy on an artists life.

the starving artist may be a life to live, but when the artist is starved of inspiration, no life is left.

You
are
so
narrow
minded.


you buffoon.

i guess

you couldn't make it.

or call.

:(

ps. (in this blog format, rather than post script, i believe ps must mean pre-script..)

I cannot stop watching The L word again. Old habits die hard :)

m-m-muh-mono!

10 am.

12 pm drink.

2 pm drink.

Accompanied with bread +vegan butter +sugar.

I thought that picture was cute.

All my life I thought mononucleosis made one lethargic and always feeling satisfied when it came to hunger. I cannot stop eating. The insomnia lifestyle I live is still flourishing.


My vocal chords are only starting now to feel as if they are decaying. Perhaps recording Laura's song while carrying the Epstein-Barr virus was not on the wise side of decisions.

words.

Well, I have found the cure for
infidelity.
a curse made to lift another
you've placed on me.

though my hands are magnetic
and prone to interlocking,
lately the have patiently been
placed in yours or pockets.
Oh, five months and treason has stopped.

Dreamgirls.

Maybe the girl of your dreams is one you share with everyone else.
Maybe the girl you met for a week and fell in love with, has met 12 other peple who met her and fell in love with her too.

Maybe, just maybe.
The one that got away, didn't just get away from you.

Whichever way you look at it,

the one who got away,
always
gets away.

Self

I am beginning to see life as a thing to cherish and live out, rather than a task to perform. I think people get stuck in phases that rotate on carousels, seeing the same things, the same places, the same turn. You don't really realize that you're spinning until your head gets sick and your stomach starts throbbing. Oh, and when you realize you can't get off. Then again, who wants to leave what they know and jump into the swirling backdrop of their life. I did. Now i see things a little more clearly.

-k.


ps. Trying to scan some new art I've been working on---> not having much luck.

Breakfast.

old.

stale.

tastes like oatmeal.

My diet of lentil soup, bread + vegan butter and peppermint tea has subsided. I lost four pounds in one week and my favorite skinnies are no longer skinny.
Am i the only girl who would complain about this?

:D

Things
are
so
good.

words.

I'm a walking contradiction for this life i lead.
I'm a martyr falling fast, but i'm not on my knees, yet.
I know what you are all thing, well this makes me a hypocrite.
But i never ever, i never ever said don't you let love win.

it's a step by step dont you make me make it up for this
a step by step
dont you make me make you regret this

my heart lies true
with you
my heart lies
in your hands
in your palms, confronted and chaffed something terrible
almost as terribly as i missed your call
last night
on the weekend before
the weekend before
the four-chin fell on me.


i don't want my words, to have to all make sense.
but i don't want these words, to come out sounding all senseless.
i don't want my words, to come out in jumbles, jumbles.

so sick of being tired, and oh so tired of being sick.

Weighted down by

the flu.

I do, however, apologize for posting that secret, private, blog. I will, i promise, reveal it the next time I am at your house.

I can't fight about it online again. That's just stupid.

steps for a relationship.

start with a mix cd.
make it official.
drop the 143.
wake up next to each other.
'create' inside jokes.
engage in erotic activity.
say that it's forever.
get through the tough things.
take the pain.
ignore the problems.
use the word perfect as much as possible.
say i love you when you're scared, but never when you mean it.
stop reading each others' minds.
stop talking, start touching.
end it quick.
pretend you hated it all.

repeat.repeat.repeat.repeat.repeat.repeat.repeat.repeat.repeat.repeat.repeat.

oh.

i look at those comments
you've left
and the things you've said

at least once a month.

You've said forever before. I feel like everything is the same for you. That washes away my faith.

I'm sorry, but I'm not.

I wish you would dispose of them properly, but i won't ever ask.

I've never been here before.

You have(?)

ps.

I'm sorry that I didn't go to your Grad party, i didn't know it would be the last chance.

a life to live.

Live not everyday as if it is your life, rather live as if that day is every other's last.

Often times, it turns out this way. Do not be the fool who took that time for granted.